16 Weeks

What you are about to read are the events from the past 16 weeks of my life. One week ago today I had a near death experience which I will never forget and will haunt me as long as I live. I debated whether or not to post such a personal experience, but felt that I needed to since it is part of my life. Experiences we go through make us who we are. This experience has changed my life....

{March 1---week 9:}
Found out baby #4 was on the way!

{March 5}
"Candlelight Baby Dinner"--I made Nate a special and delicious dinner to surprise him with the news of the baby on the way.
The menu included: baby back ribs, with Baby Ray's BBQ sauce, baby red potatoes, baby asparagus, deli plate--baby carrots, baby pickles, baby olives, homemade baby loaf of bread, orange jello salad with baby mandarin oranges.

{Week 9--Week 14} Felt sick, sick sick! Never threw up, but wanted to every day!

{March 30---Week 13} First Doctor's Appointment
Nate and I saw the heartbeat on the ultra sound and everything looked great!

{April 9---Week 12} I made darling announcements for our family. We wanted to wait until we knew what we were having before we told our friends. (I only told 3 friends I was pregnant.)

{Week 16}
Monday March 18: I noticed a little spotting

Tuesday March 19: I continued to spot. I called the doctors office and was sent to the ER. We waited 3 1/2 hours for an ultra sound. We saw our baby on the ultra sound monitor--but we did not see a heart beat or movement. We waited another hour at the ER for the Rhogam shot. I asked the doctor for a D&C...the doctor would not perform the surgery and I was sent home to have it pass on its own. Grandma & Grandpa Lewis arrived to help out.

Thursday March 21: Grandma & Grandpa Lewis went home...Mimi arrived

Friday March 22:
3:30am: Started bleeding at home. Lost about 3 liters of blood. Passed out 4 times at home.
4:30am: Nate took me to the ER. I was hooked up to 2 Iv's. I had two surgeries by the ER doctor to stop bleeding. Was given two shots. OB finally came and performed D&C. 4 hours after surgery I passed out again. I was awoken by an ammonia packet. Papa arrived and visited me in the hospital. Admitted to room 110 of hospital.

Saturday March 23
Nausea, pounding headache, pain all over, dizzy and light headed. Zero sleep the night before. My kids came to visit me in the hospital. Blood levels down to 21--should be over 31. I was given 2 blood transfusions.
7:00pm Discharged from hospital. Home recovery--rest, sleep, no lifting over 10 lbs. Mimi stays for a week to help out.


What a shock to go through all this! We thought we were out of the 'danger zone'. We were looking forward to welcoming a new baby into our family.

This Easter took on a whole new meaning. How grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. My suffering doesn't even compare to His experience in the Garden of Gethsemane or on the cross. How grateful I am that he would die for me so that I can live again. I know that the Lord was mindful of the pain I was going through and He feels my sorrow and is able to comfort me. I am grateful for the Resurrection. I don't know why this happened, and I don't know what was wrong. But I do know the Lord is in charge. He has a plan for me. I know I will have a better understanding in the life to come. I know I will see my two unborn children again (this was my second miscarriage).

This near death experience has been a hard trial for me to overcome, but through this trial I have felt the love of the Lord, I have felt closer to my Heavenly Father. I know he is mindful of me during this time. I have felt closer to Nate and our marriage has been strengthened. I am grateful for his strength and love for me. I have been more grateful for the 3 beautiful and perfect children I have been given. I feel more patience and love for them.

I know my life was saved and I was blessed in many ways. Now I must get through this grieving process and overcome this trial. I must strive to be a better person. I know I can make it through all things with the Lord's help.